How to Help Your Kid Choose a Future They Won’t Regret

When it comes to preparing kids for life after high school—whether that means college, a career, or something else entirely—most parents focus on academics, test scores, and extracurricular activities. But there’s one crucial factor that often gets overlooked: a strong sense of core values.

Helping your kid define what they stand for will not only make career and college decisions easier, but it will also set them up for a life of purpose, motivation, and resilience.

Why Core Values Matter for Your Kid’s Future

Kids who lack clarity on their values often struggle with major life choices. They may:
❌ Feel lost or unsure about their future path
❌ Make decisions based on peer pressure or expectations
❌ Chase external rewards (money, prestige) rather than fulfillment
❌ Experience burnout or regret after choosing the wrong path

On the other hand, kids with clear values experience:
✅ Stronger motivation and persistence in school and work
✅ A greater sense of direction when choosing a college or career
✅ Confidence in decision-making, reducing stress and regret
✅ A deep sense of purpose that fuels long-term success

How to Help Your Kid Clarify Their Core Values

🔹 Ask the Right Questions
Rather than asking, “What do you want to do when you grow up?”, shift the focus to who they want to be. Try these prompts:
👉 “What are three things you’d never give up?”
👉 “What are you willing to fight for or protect?”
👉 “What’s something you believe everyone deserves?”

These questions tap into what truly matters to them, helping them uncover the deeper motivations behind their future aspirations.

🔹 Teach the Difference Between Intrinsic and Extrinsic Goals
Many kids (and adults!) chase extrinsic goals—like money, prestige, and social approval. But research from Self-Concordance Theory shows that intrinsic goals—like growth, relationships, and contribution—lead to greater happiness and long-term success.

Encourage your kid to pursue a future aligned with what naturally excites them rather than what seems impressive on a resume.

🔹 Help Them See the Link Between Values and Motivation
When kids choose a college major or career path that aligns with their deepest values, they’re more likely to stay motivated and succeed. Research shows that when goals are self-driven, pursuing them feels easier and more fulfillingthan when they’re driven by external expectations.

Ask your kid:
✔️ “When do you feel the most energized and excited?”
✔️ “What kind of work would make you feel proud at the end of the day?”

The Bottom Line: Set Your Kid Up for Success

Preparing for the future isn’t just about grades and college applications. It’s about building a foundation of self-awareness and values that will guide them through life’s biggest decisions.

✅ This Week’s Challenge: Ask your kid: “What do you stand for?” and have an open conversation about how their values can shape their future.