Teach Your Kids to Show Other Kids They Matter

As parents, we know what it feels like to matter to someone—and we also know the opposite feeling: being unseen, unheard, or overlooked. Our kids understand this experience, too. They’ve felt it themselves and likely seen others around them experience it. Helping our kids learn how to show others that they matter can be one of the most impactful life lessons we can give them, especially as they grow and navigate friendships and social circles.

Here’s why this is so important: research shows that feeling like we matter has a direct effect on our mental well-being, sense of belonging, and motivation. When kids learn to extend this gift to others, they don’t just strengthen their friendships—they also build confidence, empathy, and self-awareness.

How to Encourage Your Kid to Show Others They Matter

1. Notice and Acknowledge Peers
   Encourage your kid to pay attention to the people around them. Maybe there’s a new kid at school, someone sitting alone at lunch, or a teammate who seems a little quieter than usual. Ask your kid to consider how they can make that person feel seen. Sometimes it’s as simple as a quick “Hey, how’s it going?” or inviting them into a conversation.

2. Listen and Be Present
   Teach your kid the value of listening—really listening—to their friends and peers. Remind them that putting their phone away, making eye contact, and engaging in the conversation can show someone they matter. Listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about showing interest and being there for others.

3. Include and Invite
   Every kid dreads being left out. Encourage your child to look for ways to include others, whether it’s inviting someone to join their group at lunch, participate in a study session, or hang out after school. Little gestures of inclusion can make a world of difference to someone who feels on the sidelines.

4. Encourage and Acknowledge Strengths
   Guide your kid to notice and acknowledge what’s good in others. Maybe their friend is an incredible artist or has a unique sense of humor. Teaching kids to point out others’ strengths can uplift their friends and make them feel valued. Encourage your child to use genuine compliments and share positive observations.

A Small Step with Big Impact

As you help your kid implement these ideas, remind them that even small gestures can create a ripple effect. Kids who know they’re appreciated tend to be happier, more confident, and more likely to extend kindness themselves. When our kids learn to make others feel that they matter, they contribute to a culture of belonging, support, and respect—something that benefits everyone.

So, next time you’re chatting with your kid, encourage them to look around. Whether it’s in the classroom, on the sports field, or during a hangout with friends, remind them that they have the power to show others they matter. They’ll grow in empathy, confidence, and kindness—and, ultimately, make their world a better place, one thoughtful gesture at a time.