What a kid does professionally is important. We want them to be responsible for themselves and become self-sufficient. But it’s only one part of the life equation- and it’s not the most important. A key phrase we’ve used over the years that resonates with parents is, “You can be successful in school and succeed in your career but still fail in life.” We’ve found that if we put most of our focus only on what kids do for work someday that we miss the opportunity to help them build a meaningful life.

When students don’t know who they want to become, they lack the clarity and the confidence to make important decisions when they need to make them.

Who you turn into isn’t just left to chance. It’s not just your natural state that unfolds over time until you realize you’re done growing and have an end result. Your future character is predicted by the clarity you have now and the many little choices you make to live into your vision. In The Moral Bucket List, author David Brooks calls those eulogy virtues in contrast to resume virtues. Eulogy virtues are those qualities you seek to embody and the things you’ll be remembered for by others, compared to resume virtues as the accomplishments you hope to achieve. He urges people to seek eulogy virtues first and foremost.

Imagine if every student had that opportunity. (Imagine if you had had that opportunity!) I know there’s no chance I would’ve gone to college to study Accounting if I had reflected on the person I wanted to be, especially if they challenged me to explain why. All the ingredients of my character were available during middle and high school- I just didn’t get the opportunity to think about it productively and put it all together. I mindlessly moved forward on a plan and life that belonged to someone else. But thankfully, I had significant experiences and trained mentors who took me there in college.

Let's start expecting every kid to be able to answer this question before they graduate high school: What kind of person do you want to become?

A key foundational element for building a meaningful life is having a vision for your life.

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