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Welcome to another episode of the YouSchool podcast. I am your host, Scott Schimmel. And the way we're doing this is every week we have a new episode. One week we cover what we're calling the critical questions about life, these questions that you have to be able to answer in order to put together the three pillars of a meaningful life, your identity, your purpose, and belonging. And then the next week, which is this episode, we bring on a guest, a friend of mine, typically doing something pretty unique and cool in the world. And ask them that question. And what we're trying to do is model for you how to do this inner work, how to do the deeper reflective work to get clear about the answer to these important questions, because every single one of these 30 questions, there's like 1012, sometimes 20 or 40 questions underneath that one? And if you can answer the question directly, awesome. But But more often than not, what we need to do is look at that question in our lives from different lenses and different angles. And there's something about writing out our thoughts, and talking out loud. So what we're going to do in this episode is bring a friend of mine on, I'm going to ask her a series of questions, and what you're going to hear is her process her answer to this super important critical question. So welcome to this next episode. Here we go into the interview.
Okay, hey, Christina, thank you for being on the YouSchool podcast. You're, I think, kind of guinea pig number two in this new season, where we're bringing in friends of mine, and people doing interesting things in the world
to come and have a conversation through these questions, these critical questions about life. And so you're actually the top of the list. I haven't asked no one else. When I asked you this, I'm trying to say. And this is really the first question, the first question that we want to help somebody resolve and have a clear answer to in their life. And it's a it's a big question. But most people don't take it in a really big serious way, when someone asks you tell me about yourself, or where are you from? Or What school did you go to? Those are all different ways to ask the same thing. It's really tell me your backstory, tell me tell me about where you came from. So that I can understand who you are. And I can place you in a category that makes my life easier. And most of the time, I think we don't really have very productive conversations around where we come from, we might pick up on cues, and we can so easily misunderstand and misrepresent folks. So it's actually because I met you, I think 2015 Seven years ago.
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14 2014. Thank
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you. Thank you. Yeah, yours. That's that's really significant. I mentioned when you moved to San Diego, and it's almost like, you know, I know you post move. I do. I know a little bit about where you come from. I know Chicago, in new army, we're going to talk about that. But I don't know much to be honest. And that's This is, when I was thinking about having this conversation, I was mostly interested to get to know you better. And this is kind of a easy way to do that. So I'm gonna stop talking. But I want to kind of start with, when we think about our backstory, there's we found that it's helpful to look at your past through different lenses. And one lens would be the foundations of your past. And the foundations are the fixed points. It's the stuff that you can't change. It's just the facts. It's probably what would go on your Wikipedia page when you get to be that significant and have a Wikipedia page, which I think you deserve one. It's like a hometown, neighborhood and school you went to it's it's, it's it's not what people thought about you. It's not your expressions of your artistic, all that stuff. It's it's just the fact. So looking backwards, what are the key parts of your foundation that have shaped your life?
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Yeah, it's a wonderful question and one that I wasn't confident answering until I did a little bit of inner work and really started to re identify with where I come from biggest foundation is that I am a first generation American, my mother immigrated to the US from Mexico. And while that is a story that many of us have in common, the way that it shaped my life is that it made me ever grateful for her sacrifice to get here. And you met me in 2014. When I left home from Chicago, everything I knew every neighborhood I was familiar with, and it connects me to my mother in really understanding what that was like to start all over somewhere. And how painful it must have been for her to Leave what is comfortable and familiar, because she, she was pulled towards something else. And so sometimes moms and daughters have a hard time, you know. And I think by identifying with that part of my background, I feel bonded to her. So that would be one of the first things that are important to my background. And then secondly, I'm a latchkey kid. So I grew up in the 80s, you know, I was a seven year old with a set of keys, and I let myself into the house, both of my parents worked. And I knew how to be self sufficient, I knew how to, you know, feed myself and I knew I had a duty, I knew it was on me to make sure that I cleaned up and, and that the house was in order by the time my parents came home so that it was easier on them to be present. So I think that carried into my, my life, and certainly into adulthood, where I feel duty in every environment I'm in, I'm wondering, how do I make this better. So when people come home or people enter that world, it feels calm, it feels orderly. So that is definitely something that I carry, you know, into my present and will hopefully never let go of. And then third, I think watching my parents be workaholics, both my my mother and my father. Early in, in my childhood, they were running a mom and pop grocery store. And we're trying very hard to create legacy. And my father was up an atom by five o'clock in the morning. And sometimes I didn't see him until 10 o'clock at night, because he was truly trying to run a business, be his own boss and provide for his family. And so what I knew about identity growing up is that you had to work literally work to earn identity. And so while that gave me like some pretty good work ethic, I also look at the basement of that value is that sometimes I really have to make an effort to be present to enjoy the view to like, enjoy what I've accomplished. So but I always look back on those days. And I in the summers, I would go with my dad to the store. And I remember I would help you know, restock the the potato chips and you know, help at the register. And I used to bag the groceries. And I'm so grateful that I knew what work meant when I was seven years old. Because there's There's honor in it. And so in that way, I honor my parents.
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You're one of the quickest, sharpest minds that I know how to make comes to being funny. Which I deeply appreciate. You're one of the most loyal friends I have incredibly strong and resilient. You're very deliberate and everything you do. If we had if we could get to know like 14 year old you looking at your past, like what, what parts of you then are still true. And what parts of you kind of let go of trying to get to know the character of who you were back to? Yeah.
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That's that's a really cool question. Because 14 year old me was running around, you know, with her doc marten boots and the flannel wrapped around my waist and I was listening to grungy Seattle rock and roll, you know, Soundgarden, Nirvana, all of that stuff. And I was really punk rock about everything, not just the way I looked. But the way I approached, you know, my life and my future. I was super anti establishment, I was pretty snarky. And I think most people knew me for having, you know, a little bit of Moxie. And over time, I, I, I stopped being her, I stopped wanting her. And, you know, I started to think of ways that I could be more like this successful people that were around me successful people in corporate America, successful people and nonprofit successful people and politics or on television. And it isn't until now, again, after I did, you know, some significant inner work that I feel a lot like I did when I was 14, you know, like, yeah, I feel like I honor you know, the, the kid that I used to be that was really confident in her identity. But it was in doing a little bit of backstory and going back in time and going What was so bad about that, you know, I was very free and very bonded, you know, to my, my identity and my purpose when I was just walking around in combat boots listening to, you know, rock and roll. And so I brought her back a little bit, you know,
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yeah, yeah, that's cool. Yeah, there are moments in our past that have profound influence on us. Sometimes, for better sometimes for worse, are there a couple that stick out to you that you carry with you still?
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I am still, in my core, a bit of a soldier of a bit of a dutiful soldier. So I joined the military when I was 17 years old, ironically enough, the anti Yeah, when you with your parents signature. So this anti establishment punk rocker decided to join the military. And I think I know I don't get it either. But I learned so much about being a soldier and putting the needs of others ahead of your own. And those Army values are still with me in so many ways. And I've realized now that it's okay to be a little bit of both and sometimes are your duty is to challenge things to be better than they already are. So, you know, the punk rocker that wanted things to be better, you know, join the military, and I realize that systems can improve. And sometimes it just takes somebody to look at things differently, to allow that space to to change, you know, so I, I'm still a soldier, and I still, you know, I, I default to leaders, as a leader of leaders, I feel like they've grown confidently into that role. But they're rarely, there's rarely a day when I don't hearken back to those Army values in some way.
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Is there another one comes to mind?
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Ah, relocating to San Diego, like, in 2014, you know, that is still, you know, a moment that shows up in my life. So I relocated from Chicago to San Diego because I was suddenly unencumbered, single, courageous, adventurous and aware that I can't bounce around like I did in my 20s, trying to figure things out. And if I'm going to live big, live big now. So I packed my car, and put Sasha, my little mini schnauzer in her booster seat, and I drove three days to San Diego. And I often tell that story, because sometimes people feel really daunted and terrified by their circumstances. And they think sometimes you just got to burn some calories towards change, and you get better. And life gets better when you start making those movements towards new possibilities. And of course, there are times when it doesn't work out. But when it does, you'll realize that the effort was so worth it. And I'm like, My short term plan of two years in San Diego has turned into my life, my long term plan, I'm rooted and while I'm still not sure if I'm like officially a Californian, in spite of what my driver's license says, I feel home, you know, and, and it took me a journey to get here.
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You mentioned your parents work ethic, you talked about how the culture of the army continues to shape you. I'm curious, when we look at our past the fourth lens that we look at, we call them frames, it's, it's in many ways, it's the way we were taught to see things. See what a good family does. What a good friend is all about what a neighbor does, how you handle work, or money or time like, so when you look back? Has there been maybe one that you've, you were you were handed down, you inherited but you decided to shift and change now that you're an adult?
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Yeah. I grew up understanding Love is something that is expressed by a father who provides so my father being the workaholic, the thought that showing us affection, was putting food on the table, and keeping a roof over our head. And I think those things are important and valuable. I want I don't want my children to worry about finances, or hear us talking about money with fear. I do want my children to see me affectionate to see me. available to them, and capable of stopping what I'm doing, and embracing them and bringing them in for Big hugs. And while my father is amazing, like you may have heard, my dad is a man of few words, but he is probably one of the coolest people to be around. He taught me that it's okay to provide and be really present and available and affectionate. So I sometimes can get really drawn into my work. And I have to remind myself that, you know, especially during the pandemic, there's a kid on the other side of that wall and I need to go hug him, you know?
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Yeah, yeah. That's cool. You're You're very on brand today. Would you share your role, what you're doing now professionally? And maybe how you got there and how some of this work we're talking about even today informs what you do.
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Yeah, I'm on brand all the time because I work for Levi Strauss and Company. So Levi's, you know, behind me, I have photographs of when our brand has showed up in these like notable moments in history, and a little bit of Elvis over in this corner and how iconic this company this 169 year company is in pop culture history. And I support I lead programs and operations for diversity, equity and inclusion. While this company has always had a presence and a strong heritage of doing what's right, and believing in profit and principle, it wasn't until this social up rising in 2020, that we realized we needed to play a more intentional role in making our workplaces more equitable for people. So in my role, I, I make sure that we have meaningful programs, meaningful and functional systems, pathways of opportunity for people from all walks of life, but especially for people that need us to remove some of the invisible barriers that stand in their way.
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In and how does story and backstory play into what you do?
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Oh, my goodness in everything we do. First and foremost is in helping people understand that we have a long and proven heritage have always been this way. And if we forget our founders story, and the leaders that have come since him, then it's going to be easy to assume that the reason this work exists is because of a moment in time. But it's not this moment in time. It's this long history of always getting involved in in deliberately showing up in the community when we needed to behave like a good corporate citizen. And so we always go back to our history, when we start talking about let's do this new thing, we actually go to our historian to see what our history in this area has already been. So it's really cool to be able to honor our past by creating work that continues that legacy.
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Yeah. You missed my last question to wrap up. You've talked a few times about the inner work doing the inner work. I'm curious. Because now you're you know, there was no prep for this. And the questions that threw at you, you you responded with clarity and confidence. And so someone could look at you and think Man, she you know, she's clear. She's confident. I'm curious, I guess your perspective on the inner work has always been something you valued. Is it part of your personality? Or what in general, have you learned about that kind of introspective, doing? Thinking about your past, unpacking some things? What do you think about that?
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Yeah, I think about that. There, there was a long stretch in in my life where I adapted to my environments. You know, I adapted to the people around me to the cultures I was in. And I denied my backstory, I denied that person that was raised by you know, a grocer father and a hairdresser mother.
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This first generation American this Chicago in and I guess the best way I can describe it is if is, this is for the Ted Lasso fans out there. You see this person that has it all together, right? You know, Coach laughs though he's got like those quick speeches, those like, you know, bring it in for a big hug moments. And everybody loves coach lasso, where appreciates coach lasso. But when we see him struggle, it's when he's denying that part of his past that he hasn't let out yet that he hasn't told and shared yet, or healed from yet. And so I started to realize when I became a mother, that really being comfortable in sharing that part of my past and recovering from it. Whether it was difficult times as a teenager, hard times as a soldier, or adulting that just got really effing hard. You know, when you hold that in so much, that's when you struggle, and we watch coach lasso release himself from the, the limitations that hold him back as a leader when he starts to honor his story. And I feel like I've gotten better at that over time. But really, it's because I want to be a really great parent and a really great leader. And I don't think I can be fully authentic in either way until I go back in time and understand how
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I got here.
20:01
Yeah, that's awesome. I forget what they call it. In the show you remember the guys that get together the coaches to get to the dog pack? is what they call Yeah, yeah. The wolf pack wolf pack wolf pack. Okay. All right. So that was my very awkward way to say thanks for being a part of my wolf pack and been an honor. It's been an honor
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