0:19
One of the most critical questions that everybody has to answer is this, what makes you unique? And not only you're going to be asked that question in an interview, or first date, or job application or college application, but it's also the the question that's asked about you from life, what makes you unique, there's only one of you. So what are you going to do to express that to the world. And this challenge comes before all of us, especially as we're growing up, because we're going to get into this in this episode, we all want to be accepted. And acceptance can quickly be done by fitting in. And fitting in though, is a way to neglect what makes you unique and hide it. So you can fit in dress, like everybody else look like everybody else talk like everybody else, listen to what they listen to post what everyone posts. And yet, what we really longed for is true freedom, and being our true selves. So how do you do that? Today, I'm going to show you how it's by going inward, it's going on the deeper journey. And I'm bringing one of my favorite friends, Michael Davidson, who works for Team Rubicon. If you don't know Team Rubicon, please look them up. It's a ton of veterans across the country in the world who respond to disaster situations, health crises, humanitarian problems, and they and this is my language, they redeploy veterans into those crisis situations, and partner with FEMA and Red Cross. And as they're helping people through those crises, they're also providing a vehicle and a platform for veterans to find and rediscover purpose in their lives. And it's an amazing organization. Michael's doing some great work, leading what's called the Clay Hunt fellowship program. So show notes, do a deep dive there. But now let me introduce you to my friend, Michael. Hey, Michael, thank you for being on The YouSchool podcast. You and I have been friends. I'm counting for about six years. It feels like 60, though. Because, you know, it's tricky to gauge and quantify the level of friendship that you have with somebody. I mean, there's that term, are we best friends? I just like to use the word favorite friends, you're one of my favorite friends. And we've never lived in the same town. I think we've seen each other a total of four times. plus or minus.
2:49
Yep, less than half a dozen.
2:52
And yet, and yet, you're one of my favorite people and friends. And when it comes to this particular conversation, this particular question, you're the first and only person that came to mind that I thought would be really relevant. What we're trying to do in these interviews, is more or less to model what it looks like for somebody to go deeper on these critical questions. And so you have no prep for this. That's what I'm always I keep reiterating that there's no prep for this. I just want to show if you're listening or watching what it looks like to do this on your own, to look at one of these particularly deep questions, critical questions, and go a little bit deeper to try to find some clarity for yourself. Or if you're working with somebody, maybe you're a parent with a kid, or you've got a friend who's going through a career transition, or a friend that's just trying to figure out who they are. This is how you have these kinds of conversations, which are pretty unusual. It's pretty unusual to go really deep on these questions that are right in front of us. So the question of the day is what makes you unique? And the reason I wanted you, Michael, and you're going to get a chance to introduce yourself. You're one of the most unique guys I know. And not only are you unique, but you have no problem being unique. You You know who you are, you own it. And my hunch is that you've done quite a bit of work to get there. So first, could you just give us a little, maybe a rundown of the bio of who you are.
4:27
First and foremost, I'm Michael, Michael Davidson. And, you know, I'm a 23 year veteran than the United States Navy. And just for the audience, if I'm looking down or looking away, either I'm taking notes or just I'm I have like, just I have hearing loss. So it just it helps me just concentrate on one energy, but I'm definitely engaged. Yeah, so 23 years of Navy. Got out in 2012 entered into probably like the darkest depression I ever went through. Because I had lost my, my identity, my community, my purpose. And it found my way back to the light. And in doing so that's where I found you, Scott, back in 2015. So, yeah, I guess at the end of this year, it'd be seven years that, you know, we have been. And I like that favorite friend, like, because you are. We have some of the most meaningful conversations that I've ever had with anyone. And like you said, We've only met like, I mean, we've met them, you know, less than half a dozen times, physically.
5:50
When it comes to this particular question, what makes you unique, you brought it up already, your transition out of the Navy, was really difficult. But I'm curious, I guess about the transition into the Navy for you. I've never served in the military. But I know I've seen movies, and you walk in, you get your head shaved, you get a uniform, you, you are being stripped of identity. And maybe that's just a kind of a lame way to say it, but just talk about that. You're all looking at like you're not unique, you know, you're not special. Just yet. Tell me what you think about that.
6:33
Yeah, so I mean, if you go back to like, why I joined the Navy. You know, when I got out of high school, like I had a partial scholarship to school. I wanted to be an artist. So I had a partial scholarship to the School of Visual Arts in New York. And yeah, it just didn't really pan out. So I ended up going like moving back home and go into community college, where I kind of majored in fencing. Didn't really laughs didn't really last that well. And then long story short, like, you know, coming back into my sophomore year. I just couldn't do it. And I saw I joined the Navy. Because I love my grandfather, my grandfather always had great things to say about Navy serving Navy. And like, Well, okay, so if my parents can't pay for my college, and my grandparents were like, whatever, we can't pay for my college, I'm gonna go get my GI Bill, and go be an artist. So I joined the Navy. And
7:45
right there just just to break it up. Yeah, Michael, the idea of going into the Navy as an artist, that's, that just speaks back to what makes you unique. There's not many. I don't think those those aren't themes, I think of yet artists and armed services.
8:05
Well, yeah, you don't have a lot of time for expression. But I found myself like a of fast forward, like, you know, 1012 months after joining boot camp, I was in Guam. And I was on a submarine. And I didn't have any designation. So basically, I was a, what's called a boson, mate. And that meant, like when we're important, we paint the boat. So I remember like, spending about 30 days like stripping the boat down, and then repainting it. I mean, nothing exciting. Yeah, it's black. But I took a lot of pride in my you know, just in painting this boat. Not Not everyone else in the division that I was serving with did but I did. And I'm going to take a Polaroid of of the boats, put it in to an envelope, send it to my art teacher from high school and like my latest project.
9:12
masterpiece.
9:15
Perfect. You had many usable,
9:18
you had obviously different roles. 26 years in the Navy. How, how does that 23 How does that how does that happen? How do you get picked? Is it off your interests? Is it off your aptitudes? Do you raise your hand and say you know what I I love I love this particular I'm pretty good at math. I like people like how does how do you get selected? How does that work?
9:47
Yeah, so I mean, you know, join the Navy, that's all volunteer like I mean, you just like Yeah, I'm good. submarines, you have to volunteer that again. So like a little bit of a more unique community, just everyone just realizes that, like, Yeah, I'm cool with going out of the water for a couple months at a time. So that brings in like a different community. And then I would say, you know, overall the success of my career, because I consider my career very successful. And that is in regard to the people I met, the people I served with the people I led the people that led me and what I found, to sort of be the recipe for success, it's just really getting to know, those that you serve with. Which means breaking down like a lot of barriers, but just being your genuine self, and not letting rank necessarily dictate like, your correspondence or your engagement with those that you're serving with.
11:04
If we had met halfway through your career, what would have what do you think I would have noticed about you, that would have been unique compared to other folks who are in the same uniform, similar rank, similar experience.
11:23
I remember getting called out to the captain state room when I was an intern, so I'd like midway through my career, we're doing as stores loads, and that's like, when we're getting ready to go to sea for a long time. So like, you gotta love like, a lot of provisions. And it's typically like the enlisted fence that are like, you know, haul and all this stuff on, it's just like, you know, box, there you go. Box, here you go. And, I don't know, the way I was brought up on submarines, I would just say, I couldn't just look at this, and, you know, drink my cup of coffee. I got it, you know, took off my shirt and not like bare chested, but just, you know, like, down to my T shirt and just joined the line. And over, like, the general announcing system over the ship, and just like Anson Davidson, please report to the captain state runner. So, you know, I put my shirt back on, go to the camp save room, like, what are you doing? Like, well, we're kind of slowing down the line, we didn't have enough people. So I just jumped in. Like, you know, your role as an officer is to like, observe and correct. And I don't like well, I thought I was observing and correcting is being part of the line. Yeah. And if you notice, like, I was shifting my position, you know, throughout, jump in and out, like just seeing like, where the choke points are and everything. But yeah, it's just the model was like, as an officer, you should just be like, on the periphery and look in and judge and correct. But for me, I felt like, which speaks a lot to just to, I am just like, well, let me get in there and see what it feels like, sit and see where the tension points are. And I would say another thing that like, where I felt like, you know, pretty unique was my next tour. On the USS Los Angeles, I was the department head as still young officers, Lieutenant Junior Grade. And when I reported a board, I was leading like 18 people. And I gave them all the Myers Briggs Type Indicator assessment. And my chief coming up to me, he's like, Hey, I take this when I went to the Chiefs Academy. Am I cool? That's awesome. Why did you do that? Was to discover who I am, like. Awesome. And that is definitely like why we should do this. But what my intent is this is is that we get to know the crew. We get to know who we're responsible for. And this is a great opportunity. He looked at me like, well, I could just say like Amiens, I won't go into sailor speak. But he looked at me like I was crazy. Yeah. But then he soon realized like, why was doing it? And he really got to know those that who is leading in a different way.
14:42
With it, that picks up on a thread. That's certainly an aspect of who you are that I've gotten to know you now professionally, help other people figure themselves out. I'm not sure what language you would use. That's a really shorthand way to say it. So to see that thread back, even before it was your job, before, as required or expected of you, you were on that journey yourself and helping other people do it. That's, that's a big part, I think of why doing this inner reflective work is helpful. When you see those threads, you can not only see the past, you can also start projecting out into the future. So maybe with that context, you talked about this transition post Navy, what was it that helped you to finally figure that part of you out and pursue that? Because I don't think that was your first step from the Navy was to go help other people in finding their personalities and finding their gifts and talents?
15:46
Yeah. Good question. I would say that, like, you know, I had a yearning when I got out to, to help others. I really did like, I mean, humanitarian assistance was, is my passion. You know, we, regardless of like, what sort of economic status you are in the United States, you still live a very privileged life, as compared to the rest of the world. And those like very insecure areas, you know, when they get inundated with a natural disaster, just, we should do something. So there's a call to action there. And you know, where did I really get the shift into, like helping others. But it took a lot of work on myself. And this is no shameless plug for you school. But it's seriously, it's a plug for you school. It's when I got honest with myself and started writing out my story. And I got I started visualizing, like with a, this is actually who I am. And this is what got me here. And the revelation came in, like with, who do I want to be? And what do I need to do that? And, you know, that was back like, she Scott was, I guess, like, first I went to use school 2015. And, I mean, I had made some revelations getting up to there, you know, as when I was a fellow. And just really just like, doing what I believed in. But it was like when I went to that use school, and, you know, honestly, first time with the school, it was more of like, sort of an audit of the program. The second time, I went to use School, which was late 2015. I got honest. And I got hungry. And just sort of felt like the fire in the belly. And, like, this is the path I want to walk on. And I know what I need to do. I know who I need in my life. And I found them and here I am, you know, seven years later, on a podcast with you. After taking, like 175 people, I think it's 175, maybe 180 people through us school. Yeah. Helping Veterans and, you know, parents of veterans, go through this program.
18:51
I talked about, if you're watching last episode, you heard this as a theme. There's a human desire to fit in with other people, you you want to be accepted. And I don't know if there's anything worse in the human experience than to be rejected. So a survival instinct kicks in. And in my life, I've done many things, to avoid rejection, to get acceptance. And the path that that takes you down, however, is the path to often lose yourself. Not really be who you are. And if you go down that path, trying to find acceptance, you'll get some version of it. But you won't get what you're really longing for, which is deep connection, belonging, and true acceptance. That can only come from owning who you are, and declaring it as we wrap up. I'm curious in your life, and how you now help other people do that same thing. Do you have a either a warning A disclaimer for that work. I'm just curious, how do you encourage people down that path? Because it's not easy. It takes a ton of courage to, to look at who you are and then start owning it.
20:15
Poof. Yeah, I mean that dude, heavy question. Love it you know, 2012 2015 I went through a, I have asked him, sorry, can I say that? I have asked, I have fast therapy. You know, it was like what I thought I needed. But I was just kind of feeling someone else's agenda.
20:49
I had lost my voice. So I couldn't talk too much either. Like, I had no self talk.
21:01
And it was when I went through Euskal, I mean, again, no, shameless plug here. But the questions forced me to talk to myself, to be honest with myself.
21:16
And when I started doing that, just that self talk helped me find my voice again.
21:25
And it helped me believe into like, no, no kidding. Like, this is who you can be. This is a C, one A B. So it went from someone else talking to me about what I should do. And it forced me into like, talking to myself. And through that, finding my voice again. To which then, you know, the way I explained like, you know, several the personality assessments we go through, like, there's the room you live in, there's a basement and a balcony. And what this opportunity really afforded me was to go to the balcony and project that.
22:08
But one of the last questions I have probably the last part of being unique. I've just discovered that everybody's everybody has their own quirks. And I'm curious if we were to follow you around for a day or two. What's What are some of the quirkiest things? You do?
22:31
Um, yes, I'd like to be unique. I mean, I'm an Enneagram type four that's in my nature. I just, I like to be unique. I'm very moody. I'm sensitive. I withdraw silences, okay. And then like getting down to like, just simple things. Like I use a pencil. And not just any pencil. Like, I have to like specifically, like research pencils. I have like high quality Japanese pencils. I use good paper. And just I don't know, there's just like, very weird nuances. Like I don't like I don't like washes that take batteries. Like, I mean. And I celebrate uniqueness. And that is why I always, always tell the fellows and those that I love. You know, thank you for being you. When you can show that uniqueness of you. Yeah. I mean, that feeds exactly what I need in my life. I don't like fluff. I don't like, you know, just small conversation. I just want to know you. And I don't know, maybe that makes me unique. But I like being unique because I get to know you.
24:10
Well, you certainly have a gift. That's what you do. For me as a friend. You've done that now for hundreds, literally, of other people, giving them the space to explore and have the courage to be themselves and that part that I think you do so exceptionally well. Not only do you live that yourself, but when someone shares something that they haven't disclosed before, and maybe they felt embarrassed by it, or they're afraid of the room rejection. I mean, you're you're by far the best person I know. That fully embraces whatever, whatever comes out. So back to if you're watching this, listen to this and you're working with somebody be like Michael, and embrace whatever people show whatever they share, even if it's bizarre, weird, offensive to you. That may your first looking glance be embracing it. If that's you, then practice what he's been preaching. Try to have that embracing voice for yourself. So, Michael, thanks for being on the show being a friend and thanks for being you.
25:13
Thank you love you Scotsman
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
