0:19
Alright, hey, Kathy Pham, thank you for being on the YouSchool podcast. And if you are listening to this, then you're missing out on Kathy's outfit, and I love it. For those who are listening, I'm wearing an orange beanie, a white mock neck sweater, and a orange vests. It's not that exciting. But hey, little effort guy, give a little. That's your brand, a little effort goes along.
0:50
I care a little.
0:53
Well, what I want to do is start kind of backwards and try to unpack your life. How's that sound in 15 minutes? So maybe let's start with what are you doing right now? professionally? How do you describe it to folks? Especially like, I don't know, when you go to home for Thanksgiving, and you're talking to an aunt? And she says, Kathy, what are you doing these days? How do you describe it?
1:21
My family doesn't ask. I don't know. But so let's say someone else. Yeah, um, I, I like to say that I live in serve. And then they will have City Heights, San Diego. And so I am a youth worker. And what that looks like, I just try to love students as well as they're my friends. And to help others do the same. So whether that's volunteers and, and staff, and so, yeah, I love and serve teenagers.
1:51
You know, it's, it's interesting to me, and I don't want to be the narrator to your life story. So you can correct me where I'm wrong. You can, okay.
2:00
You can and then we can make it to a movie.
2:05
This is power. Okay, so when I, when I met you, which I don't remember how long it was seven, 810 1215 years ago, somewhere in there. What I what I had heard about you at the time was you had made this pretty drastic shift in career from an executive leadership success business path to working in the inner city, or whatever phrase you use the hood. And I want to understand, really, why because this episode, this conversation is about what do you stand for. And you're one of the few people that I could think of that has such clearly defined values, that it's shaped everything about your life, geography, where you live, what you do professionally, your relationships, your finances, like, so you may or may not think about it in that way. But talk about that transition you made in what you were doing from corporate to being a youth worker.
3:02
Yeah, so um, I to back it up. I was Yeah, I was working in corporate, I was working for a major, Big Box Company. Here's the hint, if you cut me our bleed, Target, read, wherever. And so, so highly committed. And I think that's just how I roll with it. I'm involved in I get really committed. And so in the middle of that just knowing like, like, Am I doing something that laughs Like, who does this really help? And, and then I think, oh, nice questions put under the rug, put under the rug. And eventually, on a person of faith, and I just really sense that the guys okay, you're meant for something specific. And that looks like, like giving your life away to to serving young people. And I was like, That's bizarre. But I was like, well, let's, let's see what it looks like to like live, like maybe more a life where I'm actually risking more, I'm actually having to have faith versus just doing whatever I want. And being my own driver of my own car, like was willing to be a passenger. And so So I moved to San Diego, it was just for the summer. And it was just a serve in the summer and toward two weeks into my time here. People are like, Hey, you're the person that we've been praying for to the youth and I'm like, what, and I will just walk away from like those comments and conversations because like, I don't even know you I just got here and toward the end of summer that Okay, seriously, like consider this. And so I just went through just really trying to discern, like what has God been doing in my life? What are the skills and talents he's given me? And what is it like to be faithful and, and through talking with others and, and really just doing some real deep reflections just like hey, this is probably This seems like this is what's up. And so, so I could pursue things that would maybe make me happy or just really do I really believe that I was meant to do, which is interesting because I thought about this week, I was talking to some friends back home and back home in Orange County. And one guy, he does like landscaping stuff. And he's like, Yeah, I'm gonna be working on Vanessa Bryan's backyard, which is Cobis. Yeah. Kobe's wife, late wife, however, say that respectfully. And I'm just like, wow. And then he was talking about his like, brother in law another guy. So yeah, he does. dropship and he's doing stuff for like Travis Scott. Like just saying all these names, right? I was like, huh, yeah. And like my cousin. Like, he was the personal chef for the Kardashians. And it's just like, these things. And I'm just like, what? Right? And, and, and as a positive, like, that's cool. Right? Like, that's cool. That's cool for them. And, but I really had to be like, Wait, am I okay, where I'm at? And I actually I am. But so sometimes it's just helpful to take stock about like, what, what am I really about? Yeah, how do these things like remind me, I guess,
6:07
because those moments are disorienting. I mean, you just labeled three that are incredibly enticing, attractive, from, you know, almost any angle, you look at it. Those are impressive, cool things, which what happens for me when I'm not grounded, and it sounds like this week, you re grounded. When I'm not grounded, I get totally distracted, I feel bummed out, I feel like I'm off path, or who am I and all those voices, all those whispers, you're not good enough. You don't have what it takes, you've made mistakes, you're missing how it's like all those voices come rushing up. And I'm curious with you working with students, what I've discovered is sometimes the path to figuring out what you stand for comes from something that you had, and you want to pass that on. Like, for instance, somebody who had a great powerful mentor in their life, when they were young would say, Gosh, I really want to offer that in the future to other people. And then on the flip side, sometimes what drives people is what they didn't have. And you can use that same example, I didn't have a mentor, and I really missed out and therefore I want to give this away. So I guess I'm curious trying to set that up as a lens for you. What What has it been about students for you specifically? Or has it been just kind of I don't know, this is just seems to be something I'm interested in.
7:36
Yeah, I think when I think back on my story, so I come from a broken home, and there was alcohol and drug abuse. And as a kid, I was like, this sucks. And like if my if, you know, if someone were to record, my life was like, Whoa, home, like, My life sucks. But, but looking aside, or in addition to the hardship, or to the stuckness, I also recall being surrounded by great friends and, and a really loving church community. And so who were like my mentors, and so they would open up church, so I could do homework there, and they'll pick me up and drop me off. And, and just people really cared about me, and I didn't really connect it until, you know, getting a little bit older. And I was like, Oh, I love what I'm doing. It's just like part of like, what redemption looks like, where like, I really believe like, God doesn't waste our pain. And so it can be like, oh, yeah, like my upbringing was trash. I mean, yeah. But also there was good things. And then I could I myself could be involved and get things in other people's life.
8:39
I love that. And I'm curious now that you work with students, kids, maybe who have similar some similarities to your upbringing? How do you help them process that while they're going through it? What do you what do you do? Are there? Do you find yourself asking certain questions or saying certain things to them?
9:01
Yeah, I think it's, um, I think it's the just really trying to be a good friend. And so I think it starts with like earning the right to be heard. So before I could say things like, how can I just really show up for anybody, including young people, right? And so how I be friend and care for a person who's 15 is the same as the one who's 3555 is just like to ask that question, but just just hey, so could you live with so what's your favorite food, just things that are I think the the family one really shows what's going on in the home life, and then the food was just some of this disarming and most people like food, and most people get excited. And so so I tried to just show that I care and, and also, like, I think make it fun. And I'll ask questions. That might be what a typical adult wouldn't ask. I'll just say okay, who thinks gonna win a fight? And I was like, pick two. Random kids say that, like, What are you even talking about? And so, you know, just try to keep them on their toes. And for them to say, okay, she's, you know, she's whatever. And so, yeah, so I think I think that and that's just like being along for, like their permission like their life that's not like, because you're part of our program, or, or if you like, graduate out, you know that, you know, we're still friends. And so,
10:29
um, yeah, so it looks like, it looks like knowing what's going on. So if there's things that are hard, like, hey, like, you're
10:35
not alone, this if there's things that are great, it's like celebrating those wins. And so, you know, yeah, I guess just just trying to, like be a homey.
10:46
Also your brand. I don't want to bum you out. But what if we could chart the trajectory of your career earnings? Free? Yeah, posts, the decision that you made to follow your, your passion and follow what you sense God? Yeah. I would just imagine that you've you've clearly missed out on on some dollar bills, obviously. And, and so what I want to ask is not what have you missed out on? But what, what has your life gained by reorganizing your life towards your fundamental values and your sense of what's right, and who you are? As you look back over the last X number of years? What what has been built in you?
11:36
Right, yeah, so if we talk money I make when I so after, when I was working in Orange County, and while I was doing a corporate executive job, and that's surely I lost my job, I was on unemployment. And I made more on unemployment than like, my checks in Senegal for like years, until maybe more recently. And so it's kind of like, fascinate, I could do nothing and make more money than I do now. But I think, I think, um, I think it was about it's just like the bigger picture. And so is my bigger picture of paycheck? Or is my bigger picture. Like, what is it for me is like to really love God to love people. And so when I was young, I remember when my mentors telling me like, there's just like two things that last like God and people. So if you do those things, like that's what last and so I was, like, wow, I can do something that lasts forever. I don't really think like, what's my legacy, but from time to time, I'm reminded of that, and I think that really grounds me. And so, um, I think what is really important to me is, is living for hope, and standing for what's the betterment of other people's lives, like was, like, where my life hopefully makes other people's lives better. And, and I don't have like a metric for it. Because I think then it gets a little too complicated as a little too checklist. But I think just kind of like, the overall idea is like, hey, it's just like, you know, it's about hope, as well. Making sure others around me are doing well, in a macro level, and then then I think about like, you know, systemically, what could that look like?
13:18
Maybe as we wrap up, you'd play a little mad libs game here. When sure I'm gonna say a sentence and you've and you fill in the blank, whatever comes to mind, when it comes to kids in terms of what they deserve, and then deserve maybe a loaded term. You might say, No, right? I was talking about this recently. And someone said, I don't think anybody deserves anything. And I was like, huh, he goes, Yeah, you know, no one deserves, so then the other person said, I think we all deserve everything like so. When I say deserve, I think I mean, what if if things were right, the way things should be? What do you feel like kids deserve? Every kid deserves what?
14:03
I think everyone deserves someone who believes in them.
14:08
Why do you say
14:09
so? Yeah, I think because everyone, including kids, including teens, I think because they matter and they add value. And so I think, yeah, everyone deserves so who lives or who believes in them? Quickly, a brief story. So there's this band called BTS. And they spoke at the United Nations. And it's like, the third time this past September. And so James Corden went, he does his monologue. And he said something to the effect of can't believe beats us. They're like, why are they there? And ever, and he says, like, oh, it's because they have the largest army, which is their fan base, and they called the army. So that's like the joke. And then he's done. He says, like, I can't believe like, everybody is scared of 15 year old girls. And so I was like, wow, one I think like, Well, do you believe a 15 year old Right, because if you do, then you realize like what they can offer, right? And they wouldn't be up to your to a joke. And so I think there's, there's just something about like, hey, you know, like everybody deserves you know people to believe in love. Yeah.
15:13
Well, thank you, Kathy, I, I think I continue to want to spend time with you, because you remind me what it looks like in a real life person, how to organize your life around things that matter the most. And when I get distracted by talking and hanging out with friends, and we're talking about bathroom tile, or some trip, or I see someone's career success on LinkedIn, and it gets disorienting, I think of you and I think of friends like you, who remind me what matters most what last, and I'm gonna say thank you for that as a friend, and thank you for your work with students. Giving that as an example to them is a big deal in the questions that you asked. I've been around you when you ask kids questions. And you are a homie and you're very disarming. And an that comes with the integrity of you live in a life that's integrated, and, and I'm impressed and thankful for it. So thanks for being on the show. And if you're listening and watching and for sure want to dig into these kinds of conversations, that's where we have things like in the show notes, and in this curriculum, we want every single student to be able to answer these questions we believe they deserve the opportunity to so they can build truly meaningful life. So we back next week with another episode
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
