Scott Schimmel (00:03.178)
I think I've done a pretty good job as a parent introducing my kids to my closest friends. They've spent time with them, they know who they are by and large. And I think it's a really helpful, like you might call it an asset for them to have in their lives. Older people outside their parents that they have relationships with, positive interactions with, and have seen over time. I think those are tremendous things. And research shows that kids who have
more than one or two adults involved in their lives, actively involved in their lives. In fact, the research says five, five adults, that they will do well in life and always, not just career, but also their mental health and their sense of self, their sense of identity. It's a great predictor of lifelong success. But I think I have not done a good enough job yet with my kids to introduce them.
to my friends as it relates to their career. In fact, I doubt that if I quizzed my kids today, that they would even be able to talk at all about what my closest friends do for work, not to mention their aunts and uncles. In fact, I don't even think they know what I do, let's be honest. They know that I come to this little office and I have Zoom meetings and I record things on YouTube. And they've probably seen me speak publicly. I used to do it though, when they were little.
I would bring my kids often to me speaking, going out and about, going to conferences, going to events, but I realized recently that they don't remember. They were too little. They don't remember much. So whoopsie, this is my course correct and may this be a message for you as well. There are things that we can do deliberately, intentionally with our kids to introduce them and expose them to what I would call life wisdom, especially career wisdom.
It's one of the things my dad did exceptionally well over time, especially what I remember my teenage years, my dad invited me often to play golf because he knew I loved golf, but to play with his colleagues and clients and coworkers. And I could never count how many hours or outings that I spent with my dad watching, listening and learning to how they interacted, what they talked about, how they...
Scott Schimmel (02:27.682)
talked about business or talked about personal life. The asset that I got from my dad doing that intentionally with me has been tremendous. I probably realized it in my late 20s, a few years into my career, when I was finding myself just really at ease and adept at social interactions, especially more formal interactions with business people. And it was a huge asset that I actually shared with other people who hadn't been given that opportunity when they were growing up.
So I have a huge debt of gratitude to my dad for that. On the flip side, not however, but additionally, I wish in hindsight that I had been able to be more intentional with that time that I spent with those business people because like my kids with me and my friends, I didn't really know what those people did. And in hindsight, as my dad will say, hey, remember that guy, remember him, remember. I say, yeah, oh yeah, I remember him.
I remember their golf swing. I remember maybe their kids' names, but I didn't know that they were a CFO of a company or an executive or a consultant. I didn't even know what those jobs meant. Nor did I take any opportunity to. So I wish in hindsight, I could go back in time and get to know them on a more personal level. That's what this episode is about. How do we help our kids learn how to tap into the potential of the network that you have for them and the wisdom that you've...
gained and gleaned through the school of hard knocks. This is an encouraging message to you and some instruction for how to do it. And I think there's a few specific ways we can teach our kids to tap into their own network that they will not figure out on their own unless we show them. The first one would be to, and you can have your kids listen to this or read an article that's on our blog about this. The first would be to get curious about your parents.
their career path and the friends and extended family that they have. Get curious. What that means is the next time you're with uncle, whoever, or aunt so and so, or the fake aunt, the fake uncle come over for a holiday get together. Take the initiative to be curious. What do you do again? And it doesn't it's not awkward for them. They'll laugh. Oh, yeah. Why would you know that I'm in real estate? Why would you know that I'm an attorney? Why would you really? Because all we've ever done is gone camping together or had barbecues together.
Scott Schimmel (04:54.57)
or family celebrations. But to start with curiosity means you say things like, hey, I'm curious, what, as I'm starting to think about my future, what do you do exactly? And that curiosity builds. That's the foundation for everything. Be curious about what your parents do at work all day. Be curious about what your aunts and uncles, your grandparents, your neighbors. Just get curious. Beyond job titles, beyond industries. That's where I think we typically stop. Oh yeah, okay, cool.
You're a lawyer. Oh, awesome. You're in finance. What if you're really curious? You'd be like, I'm gonna be honest, I have no idea what that means. What do you do? Get curious specifically about their origin story. You've probably seen superhero movies about the origins, X-Men origins, to kind of go back in time, do a flashback with them. How did you get into what you're doing now?
What led you to that? What were the pivotal moments? What were the opportunities? What were the things that you turned down? And on that side, what we'd also get, what I would encourage you to get into is the alternative universe of where their path might've taken them. Had they stayed on the same path, had they not been fired, had they pursued an opportunity, what alternative universe could they have gone down? And ask them that.
Ask them with your skill set, with what you are talented at, with what you're wired for, what else could you be doing? And I think what that does is expose you to all the opportunities, like literal thousands of opportunities that are in front of you. To be able to see that there's not one path. If you're good at numbers, it doesn't mean you go straight to finance or straight to engineering. There are thousands of iterations.
what that could look like and the more you're able to see the different pathways, different threads, the different opportunities and where those lines might take you, the greater chance you'll be, your kid will be, to think wisely from the get-go. So get curious, ask them about their origins, ask them about their alternative universe of where they could go or what they could have done and on that same vein ask them about their regrets. What do you wish you had done? What do you wish you had known?
Scott Schimmel (07:18.098)
What if you could go back in time and do it differently? Those kinds of curious questions can lead to a whole host of wisdom, life experiences, helping people process out loud with you. You get to learn from their life wisdom, their mistakes. And the last part would be to ask for advice essentially. What are some of the career hacks that you have learned over the years? If you could go back and be
16, 18, 20, 25, what would you do then that would have benefited you now? And then just take notes. And you're gonna hear a variety of things. This is the kind of conversation that I wanna have with my kids, particularly my son who's a junior. I'm gonna be leaning on these different ideas and concepts and trying to set these conversations up on his behalf.
over the next few months because I want him to tap into the, the wisdom, the life wisdom, the relationships that I have, that you have, because otherwise he is only able to see what he can see. And I don't think it's right to let him just figure it all out on his own. I want to bless him with the benefit of what I've been able to gain, learn, grow from, be hurt from, move through.
et cetera. So don't make the mistake of not helping your kid see the potential of the network that you have on their behalf. Be intentional, set it up, ask the questions, create the circumstances and make it normal for your kid to have these kinds of conversations with the people in your world for the next few years.
